Singles

Aye Aalize,

I have a history of obsessing about men who don't return my interest. However, through extensive self-examination and honesty, I have achieved a healthier mode of relating, and now am involved with a kind-hearted man who lives close to my city. He's a software developer whose long hours often leave him weary and reclusive, so when I didn't hear from him in over 3 weeks, my old "tapes" played incessantly and I thought he was just another workaholic who would silently vanish.

Not wanting to accept this, I asked him to call me and tell me if he was still interested. (BOLD ON MY PART - I was quaking) Well, he confessed a general bad mood and apologized for not keeping in touch; also he agreed to get together with me after he returns from a family visit overseas.

My request of you: How can I talk down the fear and prejudice towards him, projected as it is, when there is a lag in answering? I can see by his demeanor *very sweet and candid* that he is not a mind-game player so I don't want to punish him by my own distorted perception.

Can you suggest to me a "mantra" of sorts that I can say to myself when the old "Kim, you're a nuisance and he's just being NICE, quit pestering people" starts rerunning? This has caused me to sabotage a few would-be friendships.

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